Relationships are meant to be a source of strength in our lives. Yet many times, relationships tend to be our greatest source of stress and pain. Whether it is your relationship with your children, co-workers, friends, your parents or your significant other that is causing you the most pain, healing begins with you.
The pain we experience in our relationships shows us the places in us that still need healing. I believe that when we focus on building a new relationship with ourselves, and become willing to heal those places that still hurt, we will see remarkable shifts in all relationships in our lives.
One of my clients struggled with significant feelings of inadequacy and this showed up differently in all her relationships. With her spouse, she often felt criticized and unappreciated to the point of considering divorce. With her children, it came out as a short temper and having very little joy. At work, she bent over backwards trying to prove that she was worthy of her position and the respect of coworkers. With her friends, it was a nagging feeling of not quite feeling truly connected to anyone and this left her again feeling like she had to prove that she was worthy, acceptable and likable.
The problem was that she didn’t believe she was worthy of love, respect, joy or true happiness. The solution was within. When we began working together, we focused on improving her relationship with herself first. As she began to change the way she related to herself, and began to meet her own needs for love and approval, she also began to believe that she deserved love and happiness in her life. Her relationships began to change too. Her relationship with herself is now her greatest source of strength and this allows her to let other people in to help too. She no longer has to prove herself all the time, which frees her to live a more authentic life and actually contribute more of gifts.
Ready for more joy in your life and your relationships?